Aftermath
by LM
Summary: Animated JL. Diana has been banished from Themyscira following the events of Paradise Lost (episode.) And the Flash decides to help. Heh. Heh heh heh.
1. Chapter One

  
_Disclaimer:_

The Justice League and related characters are owned by DC Comics. Used here for entertainment, not profit. Please don't sue.

This story takes place directly after the episode _Paradise Lost._

  


_**Aftermath**_

He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh. _ - Koran_   


They smothered in a heavy, sad silence all the way back. Batman's attention was focused utterly and completely on the controls of the Javelin-7. Every once in a while Superman would stand up and restlessly wander from one side of the ship to the other before sitting down again. J'onn, as usual, sat ramrod straight with an unreadable expression on his green-skinned face. Flash had taken off his golden crown of laurels and was absent-mindedly fiddling with it. 

All four of them were trying very hard not to notice that Diana was crying. 

It wasn't the sobbing kind of crying, but the subtle parade of tears that slipped out at the corners and dripped off the nose, and Diana was huddled towards the back of the Javelin, apart, trying to mask them by facing away from her companions as she stared out the window. 

Considering none of the others were looking at her, they were intensely aware of her sorrow. Flash glanced towards her out of the corner of his eyes, a move disguised by his pupil-less mask, and thought about dashing over and trying to cheer her up. 

_:Do not,:_ a calm voice in his head advised. _:There will be time for that later. For now, she needs some space.:_

_:So _that's_ why Big Blue hasn't started one of his speeches. Well, you're the expert on loss, J'onn,:_ Flash thought back. The Martian Manhunter didn't respond immediately and suddenly Flash realized with a pang that his remark probably brought back memories of the Martian's dead family. _:J'onn, I didn't mean . . . um . . . sorry . . .:_

_:It is all right, Flash.: _ To his relief, the Martian's unheard voice was genuinely warm. 

_:It's that whole 'talking without thinking' thing. I'll have to work on that.:_

_:It might be a good idea, yes.:_

Flash held the tiara in front of him, balanced on his palms, as he examined each impossibly thin, smooth gold leaf. _:First they give us honorary headbands, then they toss all of us off their precious Paradise Island. All of us.:_ He cast another uncomfortable glance at Diana. _:Crazy. Maybe _we_ should start giving out lapel pins to Luthor's gang before we haul 'em off to prison.:_

_:Or perhaps not,:_ J'onn suggested with a touch of firmness. 

_:Maybe not,:_ Flash agreed absent-mindedly. Diana was still crying in the corner. It was going to be a heck of a long ride. 


	2. Chapter Two

  


When the finally reached the Watchtower, Diana was the first one off. She didn't run, but rather walked swiftly with her head held high, eyes watery but unblinking, as she immediately headed for her room. Superman bit his lip, but J'onn looked at him and shook his head. Batman watched the Amazon disappear through the hydraulic double doors, his expression as intent and unreadable as ever, then began doing the routine check of the Javelin-7 that he insisted on after every flight, even though everyone was sure it was unnecessary. Their shuttle had been built by _Batman_, after all. 

Flash zipped over to help him, then changed his mind and sped over to Superman and J'onn instead. 

"Can you _believe_ those Amazons?" he asked, finally able to express his thoughts freely now that Diana was out of earshot. "Geez, we save their admittedly attractive butts, and what's their reaction? 'Men are forbidden on Paradise Island.'" He did a reasonably accurate impression of Queen Hippolyta's voice, although it was doubtful if the queen of the Amazons ever stuck her nose _quite_ so far in the air as the Flash's mimicry suggested. "'You are banned from our South Sea resort forever. Especially you, Diana! How dare you bring friends over without asking permission first!'" 

Superman bit his lip again, this time to hold back a twitch of a smile, but his voice was serious when he said, "Flash, you've got to understand, they're a completely different culture with different values, and--" 

"Oh, _please!"_ In exasperation Flash threw his hands in the air fast enough to make Superman's spit curl bounce. "Queen Hypertension kicks out her own daughter--AFTER she saved her mom and all the Amazons--because she brought us nasty, wicked men, gasp gasp, over to help . . . and you think the fact that they wear pseudo-Roman armor instead of mini-skirts makes it _okay?"_

"Greek." They all turned towards the source of the quiet, dark voice. Batman had a panel open on the side of the Javelin and was adjusting the wires. "They are based on ancient Greek culture." 

"Although I have not been on your planet long, my initial studies of your civilization confirm this as well," the Martian Manhunter nodded. 

"Yeah, well, the Greeks always seemed to have plenty of guys. What about Homer and Odysseus and Ulysses and everybody?" Flash pointed out. 

"Odysseus and Ulysses were the same person," Batman said. He reached for his belt and drew out a small tool that vaguely resembled a specialized set of tweezers and started using it on the shuttle's circuitry, doing things no one but he could have explained. "Or they would have been if they were more than myths." 

"Ever the skeptic, Br--Batman," Superman murmured. 

The Dark Knight ignored him as he continued. "Traditional Greek society held women in contempt. Aside from those lucky enough to secure places as oracles and priestesses in the temple, there were few opportunities or choices for women. Even romantic love was regarded with a sort of horror by the men of the time, since it meant losing control and consorting with women. Sometimes, anyway. Are you familiar with the term--euphimism, really--'of the Greek persuasion'?" 

"No," Flash said in confusion. 

"Batman!" Superman must have known, because he looked slightly shocked. 

Batman gave him a pitying glance before returning to his work, saying simply, "The men of ancient Greece went through great lengths to avoid giving women any sort of power. They couldn't own property. They couldn't leave their homes without a specific reason or approval from their husbands. Their job was to have children. Even then, their infants could be . . . rejected . . . if there was something wrong with them. If they were unhealthy or deformed, for example." Batman's lip curled in scorn at the ancient practice. "Or female." 

"So basically you're saying ALL Greeks are screwed up, not just the Amazons." 

"The _ancient_ Greeks, Flash. There are still people living there, you know," Superman reprimanded. 

"What I'm saying," Batman's voice rose slightly, "is that it's not surprising that a group of women who are so culturally entrenched in the remnants of the civilization that they still believe in Zeus and Hades would be suspicious and hostile towards men." 

"Whereas you _don't_ believe in Hades? Even though we just fought him?" Superman lifted an eyebrow. 

"We fought someone who _said_ he was Hades," Batman corrected. "Not the same thing." 

"Not _necessarily,_ but . . ." 

"That history is . . . fascinating." J'onn sounded both amazed and shaken. "When you say the 'rejected' their children--" 

"They put them in clay jars and abandoned them along the side of roads, by their doorstep, or in the wilderness," Batman said. "So that their death by hunger, aphysixation, or exposure could be said to be _the will of the gods_ instead of the responsibility of the parents, you see." 

"Their own children," J'onn marveled, clearly unable to concieve such a thing. 

Frowning, Flash had to agree. "Man, what was _wrong_ with those people?" 

"They were people." Batman's voice was as calm and controlled as ever, but there was an extra edge of grimness to it. 

"Yeah, but . . . still! I mean, _we're_ not like that. All we wanted to do was help! And Queen Hippo exiled her own _daughter_ just 'cause she was willing to break a couple rules to _save them all!_ And Diana _knew_ that might happen!" Although he couldn't have explained why, Flash knew that Diana's knowledge of her potential punishment made it that much worse. "Is that _fair?_ Is that _right?"_

Superman looked as though he might launch into another speech, but Batman pre-empted him. "Of course it isn't _right,"_ he said disdainfully. "Welcome to the real world, Flash." He slammed the panel shut. "I'm headed back to Gotham." 

"Right now?" Superman said, startled. 

"I told you when I joined--Gotham comes first." 

J'onn shifted. "But do you not think it would be best to wait until after we have briefed Green Lantern and Hawkgirl as to--" 

"I'm sure you can handle it." Without another word he entered the Javelin-7. A minute later, the engines began warming up with their familiar thrum. 

"Well, whatever." Superman shrugged and turned to leave. J'onn J'onzz followed him, with Flash zipping back and forth, simultaneously following them and watching the Javelin prepare for take off. 

"Man, is it just me or was Bats even more pissy than usual?" asked Flash. 

"He is as . . . displeased . . . by the actions of the Amazons as you--as we all--are, Flash," J'onn explained. "He feels things deeply." 

The Flash paused long enough to give the Martian Manhunter a lopsided, wholly disbelieving smile before racing off ahead of the two aliens. If they wanted Hawkgirl and GL to be briefed, he'd be happy to brief them. Even though he was more of a boxer guy himself. 


	3. Chapter Three

  
The world blurred around Flash as he moved at what was a casual trot for him and an impossible pace for any other member of the human race. It took him exactly .98 seconds to locate Green Lantern flopped on a couch in the common area. 

"GL!" Flash greeted him. 

Lantern looked up as the familiar red streak skidded to a step in front of him. 

"GL!" Flash repeated, because the doppler effect had made his voice unintelligible the first time. "You and Hawkie are back from Cabris-4, huh? How'd it go?" 

Green Lantern gave him a stony look. "It went _great,"_ he gritted. Suddenly Flash noticed that his shoulders were covered by viscous, mustard-colored goop which was currently drying into firm, crusty layers as it seeped down his uniform and onto the couch. 

"Ewwww," Flash said eloquently, drawing back. "What _is_ that stuff?" 

Lantern crossed his arms. "I do NOT want to talk about it." 

"That's what sucks about alien planets," Flash offered sympathetically. "There's always something trying to goop you up or eat you." 

"Excuse me?" someone hissed behind him. Flash turned in a nanosecond to find Hawkgirl standing behind, obviously just out of the shower. She was wearing a light purple bathrobe (with a scooped back, to accomodate her wings) and her hair was wrapped in a towel. _"I_ come from a so-called 'alien planet' and we didn't have anything . . . _goopy_ . . . there at all." She gave her wings one firm, angry flap, spraying water everywhere. 

Flash merely dodged the water droplets, one by one. It was good to be the fastest man alive. "Hey, there's always an exception, babe." 

_"Don't_ start." She bared her teeth at him. She turned towards John Stewart. "Shower's free now. But you'll have to _scrub_ to get it off." 

"Oh, great." He began to stand up. 

"Hey, wait, you can't leave yet. I have to update you guys," the Flash said, suddenly remembering why he was there. 

"What? Did civilization as we know it collapse while we were gone?" Hawkgirl asked. 

"Uh . . . no . . ." 

"Darn." She picked up her mace from the side of the couch and casually hefted it a few times. 

"I'm sure it can wait, Flash." Green Lantern began to push past him. 

"Well, fine then Mr. Hotshot," Flash replied, annoyed. "If you don't want--" He zipped out and did a quick reconnaisance to make sure Wonder Woman wasn't within hearing range and then returned and picked up his sentence in a lower tone. "If you don't want to hear the low down on what's up with Wondy--" 

Lantern froze for a second, then immediately turned around. Hawkgirl suddenly looked alert and interested. "Did she . . . she didn't leave, did she? I know she was going back to try and work things out with her mother--" 

"Yeah, I was kinda worried she would convince Diana to stay on Themyscira for good." 

"Ohhhh man, it was so much crazier than you guys can imagine!" Flash said, gesturing for them to come closer while he told his tale. "Okay, so first the princess borrows the Javelin-7 to go make up with mom, right? And then--we find this out later--then when she gets to Six Flags over Themyscira, there's this creepy old dude there and he's turned all the Amazons to _stone--"_

"Flash," GL said suspiciously. "Have you been eating food over the expiration date again?" 

"No, no, this really happened!" the scarlet speedster insisted. "So anyway, he's all, 'I won't let your mom and the other Amazons loose unless you get all the parts of this key for me--'" 

"How can a key have parts?" Hawkgirl queried doubtfully. 

"Well, it wasn't like a door key or anything, it was a big stone . . . thingie. With handles. Anyway, so Diana goes and starts tearing through this museum looking for part of the key, and then Superman finds her, and then Superman calls the rest of us--me and Bats and J'onn--and we all agree to help her look for these things. Oh, I forgot to mention, the key's supposed to open this gate to the netherworld," Flash added as an afterthought. 

"A gate to the _what??"_

"Yeah, apparently the Amazons have been guarding it all this time. The lord of the underworld, Hades, was Diana's mom's old boyfriend or something, and . . . well, it's complicated. Anyway, we finally get all the pieces of the key and we head off to Paradise Island. Current population: a bunch of hot Amazon statues and one nutty sorceror. And the sorceror, this Felix Faust guy, is in this temple and we do the requisite Big Fight Scene--he had a bunch of zombies and stuff--and THEN . . ." Flash paused dramatically. " . . . he OPENED THE DOOR!" 

"What door?" John asked in a voice that clearly showed he was not hanging onto Flash's every word like he should be. 

"The door to the _underworld,_ John! Duh! Anyway, he pops it open and out comes . . . " Another dramatic pause. " . . . HADES! Diana's mom's old boyfriend!" 

"So did _he_ try to fight you?" asked Hawkgirl, who had begun looking regretful about missing the whole thing ever since the fastest man alive mentioned zombies. 

"Oh HELL yeah! No pun intended! He was tossing fireballs and all sorts of crap! So we're not doing so well, 'cause he's tearing up the floor, which keeps _me_ busy, and he's throwing fire around, which is no good for _J'onn_, and all his stuff's magic, which is bad news for _Superman_, and Batman--well, I love the uber-Bat and all, but he didn't seem to have a 'Bat-grenade-of-knocking-the-Lord-of-the-Underworld-back-where-he-came-from' on him, y'know? So then Hades sucks the life out of Faust--I dunno why--until he's an old man, and THEN he starts gloating for a while, like villains do, and Faust sees his opportunity and NAILS HIM in the back with a spell! WHAM!" Flash gestured energetically. 

"Did it stop him?" asked John Stewart. 

"Nah, but it caught his attention. Diana's mom, Hippolyta, ran over--she wasn't stone anymore, Faust had uncast the spell on her or whatever--and started trying to lay the smackdown on him and Diana ran over and pulled the key out to shut the gates, and she smashed the key too. But that started off some sort of funky chain reaction, and everything started getting sucked through the door, and Hades grabbed hold of Hippolyta and Diana grabbed hold of her mom and JUST when we thought they were going to be stuck on the other side of the door--" Flash paused for a breath. "--Wondy claws through with her mom over her shoulder." 

"Wow," Hawkgirl said respectfully. 

"Not bad for a rookie," Green Lantern admitted grudgingly. 

"Oh--oh--and THEN--are you ready for this? They give us all these shiny gold leaf things, like--" Flash suddenly noticed he'd left his in the hangar, so he sped off, retrieved it, and was back in less than half a second. "--this." 

"Huh. It's laurel. Shaped like laurel, I mean." Lantern leaned close to inspect the masterpiece of goldsmithing. 

Hawkgirl barely spared it a glance. "Some sort of Earth plant? Why?" 

"Symbol of immortality," Lantern said shortly. 

"Hmph. On Thanagar we have no use for such frivolous fairy tales." The winged warrior swung her mace idly. 

"Well, the Amazons must be doing SOMETHING right in that regard," the Flash countered. "I swear, no one looks older than thirty there. If that. Anyway, guess what happened next." 

"You used all the statues to start a museum?" GL suggested, raising an eyebrow. 

"No, I forgot to mention, everyone went back to normal after we took care of Hades and Faust. So go on . . . guess." 

"They threw a party?" Hawkgirl sounded bored. 

_"Nuh-_uh. They--" Flash did another recon sweep. "They _banished us,"_ he said in a hushed voice. "They banished _Diana."_

"Wha-WHAT??" Green Lantern stared. 

Flash nodded so fast his face was a blur. "Because she brought men to the island." 

Hawkgirl growled in incredulity and disgust. 

Green Lantern was simply indignant. "After she _saved_ them all? _Banished?"_

Flash nodded again, relieved that he wasn't the only one angry with how the Amazons had treated Diana. "By her own mother." 

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of," Hawkgirl said contemptuously. "But from the way Diana talked about her people, I always thought they were--" 

She offered a string of words, only half of which Flash recognized. He immediately began filing away the other half for future reference, frantically hoping that his short-term memory would hold out in time for him to write them down. John Stewart merely stared at Hawkgirl, his mouth hanging open. 

"What?" she said, ruffling her feathers. 

"And I thought Marines could swear," he said in breathless awe. "Can . . . can you teach me to do that?" 

Flash rolled his eyes. Honestly, sometimes Lantern was so _immature._

  



	4. Chapter Four

After agreeing that the Amazonian legal code left something to be desired, Green Lantern, Hawkgirl, and the Flash went their separate ways. GL headed for the bathroom for that shower. Hawkgirl went to her quarters to get dressed ("although it wouldn't bother _me_ if you didn't," Flash said, whereupon she swung her mace at him and he dodged.) The Flash zipped over to the kitchen to fuel his high-speed metabolism. 

He had just skidded to a stop in the doorway when he saw Wonder Woman sitting at the metallic kitchen table, her eyes downcast as she cupped her chin in her hand, leaning on the table and idling tracing shapes in the light coating of flour left over from some baking attempt. Flash took one look at the scene and bolted back down the hall, leaving only a red blur and a rush of air to indicate he had been there at all.

_Brave man, Wally,_ he thought as he leaned back against the wall of a corridor a quarter of a mile away from the kitchen. _You're just going to avoid your teammate for the rest of your life? Make sure that you're twenty feet away from her at all times on your next mission? Batman will_ love_ that . . ._

"Well, maybe just for a couple days, till she gets most of the weepy stuff out of her system," he told himself. "Anyway, you didn't see _Bats_ sticking around."

_Well, of course he didn't stick around. No matter what J'onn says, you KNOW he's an emotional popsicle. Remember that looks he got when Superman left those Hallmark cards with the little poems in them lying around? His mouth tightened at the corner and his eyes narrowed--_

"And he gave Superman a bat-glare and the Man of Steel didn't even know why. Heh. Classic." The Flash smiled reminiscently.

_So when did you end up in the same boat as the big, bad Bat? Avoiding your teammates because they have--oh dear God, not that!--emotions? C'mon._

"I'm _not _avoiding her, I'm giving her_ space,"_ he told himself.

_The same way people gave you space after Barry died?_

The Flash bowed his head, obscuring the lightning bolt symbol on his chest with a red-clad arm as he absently gripped his left should with his right hand. "Uncle Barry . . ."

_He died saving the world--hell, the whole universe--and no one would talk about him with you. Not even after you claimed the costume. _Especially_ after you claimed the costume. _

"Probably upset that I took the silly little wings off the boots," Flash muttered, watching the tips of the flexible yellow boots move as he wiggled his toes.

_Look, if she doesn't want company, why is she sitting in the kitchen? It's not like she's in her quarters or a broom closet--it's the KITCHEN! Just go over there and say something. If she wants to be alone, she'll let you know. And at least she won't let you know by swinging a big stick at you like Hawkgirl would._

"Hawkgirl and her stick," Flash mused. "I wonder if she has a license for that thing." 

Without further ado, he sped through the halls. Exactly .059 seconds had elapsed since he'd first run from the kitchen. Diana hadn't moved.

This time Flash zipped right into the kitchen, skidding to a stop in front of Wonder Woman. "Hey, princess!"

She looked up at him, surprised by the sudden red blur, then abruptly looked off to the side, biting her lip.

The Flash suddenly thought of something. "Um . . . I mean . . . I know that you're probably technically not a princess any_more_, I just meant . . . That is to say, I didn't think . . . erm . . . yeah, didn't think sounds about right," he finished lamely, rubbing the back of his neck. "Ah . . . sorry." 

Wonder Woman forced a small smile as she turned her eyes to him. "It is . . . okay, Flash. I was . . . I was just sitting here. Thinking."

"About Themis-whatsis?" he asked, simultaneously pulling most of the contents of the fridge out for a sandwich. Well, technically sandwich_es._

"Themyscira. Yes." She sighed.

"Well, for the record . . . I think all of us pretty much agree that what they did really _sucked._ Banishing you like that, I mean."

"Oh. 'Sucked.' Um." She looked at the table. "While I appreciate your concern, you have to understand . . . I _did_ break one of our most ancient and sacred laws. So my mother . . . so the queen cannot be blamed for acting as she did."

The Flash paused to look at her, then focused on the refrigerator. "Can I give you some advice, pr--Diana?"

"Oh," She sounded a little surprised. "Certainly, Flash."

He rummaged through the vegetable drawer. "Don't be so noble all the time."

"What?" 

"Don't be so noble," he repeated, straightening. "Look, you're brave and truthful and fair and everything, and I appreciate that. Really. But come on . . . can you honestly say that you don't feel pissed off? At your mom? At your 'sisters'?"

"Why would I be?" she asked, a defensive note creeping into her voice.

"WHY? You saved their bacon and they booted you out! Can you really say that doesn't make you angry? _Truthfully?"_

She had stood, frowning, halfway through his speech, ready to reply, but she slowly sank back into her chair at the last word. The Amazon fingered her golden lasso. "To feel anger for something which they cannot help, for edicts which they are prescribed to follow, would be unfair."

"Oh, gee, not that!" Flash rolled his eyes, not that anyone would be able to tell through his blank-eyed mask. "That's exactly what I'm talking about, Diana."

She looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?" 

"I _mean_ that it's okay to feel like that when you're . . . when you're _hurting._ Okay, it's unfair--well, so what?"

"So _what?"_ Wonder Woman did stand now, with her hands on her hips. "You think that it's all right to . . . to blame people unjustly? To hold them accountable for things they have no control over?"

"Hey, don't get your stars in a spangle, pr--Diana." He frowned. "I'm saying that you're going to do it whether you admit it or not. 'Cause you're angry."

"What makes you think I'm angry?" She held her head high as she tossed her black tresses back.

"Well, you're standing here shouting at me, for one thing--"

"I am not--!" she took a deep breath and lowered her voice a decibel. "I am not shouting."

"But you _are_ angry."

She didn't say anything.

"Aren't you?" he added with smug surety.

She crossed her arms.

"Just hold your magic dental floss and tell me you're not angry with your mom and I'll drop the whole thing right now."

She looked away. "I _shouldn't_ be angry."

"But you are."

Pause. "Yes."

Flash didn't say anything right away; he was putting together a beautiful sandwich piled high with lunch meat and mayonnaise and anything else he had been able to slap between two pieces of bread. "Did you know I'm not the first Flash?" 

"You aren't?" Her voice was cautious. She didn't know where he was headed with this.

"Nah. I used to be a sidekick, actually. Kid Flash--fastest kid alive!" He gave her a lopsided grin. "My Uncle Barry was the _rea_--was the previous Flash."

"Your uncle? It's a family tradition, then?"

"I dunno. I guess it is now. Yeah, Uncle Barry. Man, I just idolized him. I would've done anything for him. To make him proud." The Flash pushed a chair to the table and sat in it backwards, straddling it as he took a dreamy bite of his sandwich. "He died."

"Oh. I'm . . . I'm sorry to hear that."

Flash didn't seem to hear. "He died saving the universe. Literally. Everyone out there--everything alive--they all owe it to Barry." He popped the last bite of sandwich into his mouth and brushed the crumbs off his red gloves. "We only ever found the empty costume. No body. I kind of took it as, y'know, a sign. I wanted people to remember him. The Flash. The Fastest Man Alive. So I took up the cowl, silly golden wings and all. Not the _exact_ same one," he added parenthetically. "I mean, wearing a dead guy's clothes--that would've been kind of gross. Ewwww."

"I suppose," Wonder Woman agreed. "I truly am sorry about--"

"But do you know, when he first died, what I felt, more than anything else?" he asked, absently pinching together a few leftover crumbs. "I was really, really _angry_ with Barry."

"Well, I'm sure that--wait, _what?"_ Wonder Woman stared with wide blue eyes.

"Yeah. Just furious. I just kept thinking, how dare he die? I thought, if he really cared, he wouldn't have left me all alone with this . . . this honkin' big _legacy_ to uphold. I just kept thinking, hey, he could've survived if he'd really wanted to. Because I always believed Uncle Barry could do anything. I mean, he was the _Flash!"_

The fastest man alive paused with half a smile on his face, as though it had forgotten to vacate. "But at the same time I felt all guilty because, y'know, I really_ loved_ my uncle and he _was_ a hero and here I was thinking these horrible things about him after he'd saved me. Saved everyone. But Diana--" he raised his head. "I _needed_ to be angry. Not forever . . . but for a while. It took me a while to figure it out--heck, I know I'm not the brightest bulb in the hardware store--but I finally realized that the more I tried to shove all that negativity down into the depths of my mind, the more I tried to pretend it wasn't there, the stronger it got. So finally I just said, 'Well, screw this' and I eased up and _let_ myself be angry and unfair and just . . . let it out. And _then_ I got over it. You know?"

She looked at him, then smiled uncertainly. "Perhaps . . . I am beginning to know . . ."

"Well, that's good." The Flash smiled.

Wonder Woman sat straight up in her chair, looking ahead at nothing in particular. "My mother," she said in clear, dulcet tones, "is the world's biggest bitch."

"Uh . . . okay, good start."

"How DARE she have the gall to banish me after all I went through on her behalf? I wouldn't have needed to summon my teammates at all if she hadn't slept around with Hades to begin with!"

"Erm . . . right."

"What on earth did she see in him to begin with? Shouldn't seeing 'god of the underworld' listed as his current occupation have tipped her off that he was perhaps not suitable material for a 'boyfriend'? And another thing--"

Flash finally figured out that Wonder Woman wasn't paying the least bit of attention to him; he edged out the door, feeling a mixture of satisfaction and apprehension and hoping he'd done the right thing. 

"Well, she _does_ need to get her feelings out," he told himself. "Even if I wasn't expecting her to start letting them out so . . . abruptly."

Nevertheless, he felt a sense of foreboding as one last, satisfied sentence floated down the hall before he sped away:

"And may Zeus strike me down if she's a natural blonde!" 

  



	5. Chapter Five

A week later, the Flash's happiness at having an opportunity to help his teammate had dissolved into a sort of muted horror. He had expected Wonder Woman to deal with her feelings and get over them. Instead, she was prolonging--no, REVELING--in her anger towards her mother and her homeland. She talked about Hippolyta and the Amazons and Themiscyra to the exclusion of all else. She ranted and raved with delicious satisfaction to anyone who would listen, as well as people who were trying _not_ to listen. 

Hawkgirl was getting the worst of it since Diana apparently saw her as a kindred spirit, being the only other female on the team, and the Thanagarian found that unless she wanted to hear every injustice heaped upon someone who simply WOULD NOT take a hint, no matter how many times she growled and threateningly hefted her mace, she was effectively confined to quarters. But she wasn't the only one. There wasn't one member of the Justice League who hadn't endured a litany of Hippolyta's faults at least five times over. 

J'onn usually sat through Diana's tirades in profound silence, nodding here and there to show that he was listening, or at least pretending to. Batman was silent too, never looking up from whatever task or experiment he was working on. Wonder Woman didn't seem to mind, though, and continued aiming her speeches in his direction. 

She also cornered Superman more than once; the first time he occassionally tried to break in with sentences starting "You've got to understand" and "Well, I think", but he soon gave up and, like J'onn, resorted to simply nodding . . . although his nods had a somewhat more helpless quality to them. 

As for John Stewart, he suddenly discovered a mass of intergalatic problems that the Green Lantern Corps absolutely could _not_ handle without him. It was worth noting that all of these problems came to light immediately after the day he had been sitting in the common area of the Watchtower, reading a newspaper, when Diana had walked up, pushed the paper down to get a clearer view of Lantern, and asked, "Did I ever tell you that my mother wouldn't let me have a kitten?" 

The Flash, ironically, was the only one who managed to get away from Diana at all, mostly by darting around the Watchtower at full speed and shouting, "Cn't tlk, onna mssion!" if he absolutely had to set a course that approached the Amazon princess. He found it exhausting, more emotionally than physically, and wondered where it would all end. 

When his Justice League pager went off one day, he began to get an inkling. 

The first thing he noticed was the instead of the usual "MEETING--CNFR" message, which would have prompted him to run to the conference room, this message said "MEETING--SB5, RM 28". Wally raised an eyebrow. He was being summoned to the _sub-basement?_ Well, his not to reason why. He shrugged and sped towards the stairwell. It was faster than the elevator. For him, anyway. 

Within seconds, he was in the lower levels of the Watchtower, slowing as he wandered through dark corridors illuminated only by the tiny emergency lights strung through the halls. The whole situation was weird and--even though Lex Loser and his buddies could only really break in by stealing a space shuttle--the Flash found himself wondering if it was some kind of trap. Either that or the prelude to some sort of carefully plotted vengeance. Man, no one held a grudge like Green Lantern. Like it was _Flash's_ fault that tossing his suit in the laundry with that one load had turned all GL's underwear pink. 

As he poked around from one empty room to another, he found himself wondering how anything floating in space could have a "basement" anyway. But it was better not to bring such things up. Batman was _sensitive_ about his pet projects. 

As if on cue, a dark voice behind him grated "So THERE you are." 

The Flash bit back a yelp as he turned around. "Bats! Man, don't _do_ that, okay?" 

Batman gave him a look. 

"Well . . . maybe you can at least restrain yourself on even-numbered days or something, huh? So what's up?" 

"Everyone else is here already. Follow me." He swirled, his scalloped cape catching at the shadows as he stalked down the hall. 

The Flash trotted after him. "Okaaaay . . . Brooding and uninformative. That's totally in character . . ." 

A few seconds later, Batman pushed open a plain metal side door with "28" visible under a layer of dust. A rectangle of light spilled into the hallway and Wally found himself staring at the rest of the Justice League. Hawkgirl was perched on a large wooden box looking bored and idly trying to balance her mace on the tip of one finger. Superman was also sitting atop a box and unlike Hawkgirl he somehow made it look comfortable. (Maybe it was the cape.) J'onn J'onzz simply floated in mid-air in the lotus position. Green Lantern was floating too, and when he saw the Flash he turned and said, "About time! If you're really the fastest man alive how come you're always _late?"_

"Hey, I didn't look at my pager until just now," the Flash protested. "What's up? Why are we all here in this smelly ol' sub-basement?" Then he suddenly noticed someone wasn't there in the smelly ol' sub-basement. Wonder Woman. 

  



	6. Chapter Six

See? I _do_ update. It just takes a while sometimes. ^_~

* * *

"Well. Now that everyone's here . . . _finally . . ."_ Batman gave the Flash a Look. "We have a problem." 

"Ah . . . this problem wouldn't happen to wear a red bustier and star-spangled panties, would it?" Wally ventured with a nervous grin. 

"How did you guess?" Green Lantern answered drily. 

"I'm a mind-reader? No, wait, that's J'onn--" 

"I don't know if it's accurate to say there's a 'problem'," Superman objected. "Wonder Woman's just been going through some difficult times lately and--" 

"Oh, please," Hawkgirl snapped. "When we have someone lecturing us day and night on the shortcomings of the Amazons, there's a problem. When our UN ambassadors cut their tour short so they won't have to hear any more rants about Themysciran history, there's a problem. When we can't to the common area without someone jumping out of nowhere to complain about how her mother never let her imaginary friend have a seat at the table, there's a _goddamn problem!"_

"Shayera!" Superman gasped. "Language!" 

"Hawkgirl's right," GL interjected, crossing his arms. "We can't do a damn thing without having Diana ambush us with some rant about her mother or Themyscira. And I, for one, am _sick_ of it. I say we tell her enough is enough." 

"Agreed," nodded Hawkgirl. 

"But guys . . . it's like Supes said, she's just going through a tough time," Flash protested, feeling somewhat guilty. "I mean, I'm sure if we just give her some space--" 

"How are we supposed to give her space when _she won't leave us alone?"_ Hawkgirl demanded, gripping her mace in a white-knuckled fist. 

"Well . . . Yeah, but . . . I mean--" Flash fidgeted. "You want to _help_ her, right? And, um, don't you think she needs to, like, get all this stuff out in the open?" 

"Is that what _you_ thought, Flash?" Batman asked, his white eyes slitting as he focused on the Scarlet Speedster. 

The Flash froze for a second under the Bat's narrowed gaze. "What, uh, what d'you mean, Bats?" 

"I was just wondering if you'd been _helping_ Diana with her problems lately." 

"Well . . ." Wally laughed nervously. "We all have, right?" 

Batman slowly reached into his utility belt and pulled out a white piece of paper folded neatly into eighths. Flash watched with confusion and not a little apprehension as the dark gloves slowly unfolded it, smoothing out the creases. 

"I found this," Batman tapped the piece of evidence with one finger, "on the fridge. Held in place with magnets. Power Puff Girl magnets." He subjected Superman to a minor glower as the Man of Steel shrugged helplessly. 

"They were on sale!" 

"Hn . . ." 

"What does it say?" Green Lantern asked, all business as usual. 

"It's funny you should ask that, Lantern," Batman said in a tone of voice that insinuated that it was not AT ALL funny. "It _seems_ to be a list of sorts. And it _seems_ to be written in a language based heavily in ancient Greek--" 

"So we don't know what it says?" asked Hawkgirl. 

"--in which I happen to be fluent--" 

"Ah, yes, silly me," she muttered. 

"And the title _seems_ to translate roughly into . . ." He paused, staring down at the paper. _"Reasons My Mother 'Sucks'_. She put 'sucks' in quotation 

marks." 

"Oh dear," J'onn murmured. 

"Now, who do we know who relies heavily on this word in his somewhat limited vocabulary?" Batman looked around. "Can YOU think of anyone, _Flash?"_

"Hey now . . ." Flash laughed nervously. "Let's not be hasty--" 

"The irony is just _sickening_," John Stewart muttered, crossing his arms. 

"YOU!" Hawkgirl howled, swinging towards the Flash. "I knew it! I KNEW this was somehow your fault!" 

Superman caught her wrist before she could fling her mace at the speedster. "Now Shayera, I'm sure he has a perfectly reasonable explanation for--" 

"Thought you'd sit back and snicker while the rest of us had to deal with Diana, huh? Reeeeeeal cute, kid." John Stewart crossed his arms. "Nice trick to play on someone going through tough times, too." 

"Hey, no, that's not it at all," Wally protested, holding up his hands. "I was just trying to--" 

"Send us over the edge?" Hawkgirl growled. 

"No, I wasn't thinking of _you_ at all. Wait, wait, that didn't come out right." He spread his hands in appeal. "I was just trying to help out Diana, okay? She was keeping everything all bottled up and I could see it was driving her crazy, so I thought--" 

"--that she should drive us crazy too?" 

_"No."_ He have Shayera a glare. "I _thought_ I could help her . . . you know . . . loosen up a little. I didn't know that she'd take the whole thing to _extremes."_

The Martian Manhunter, who had floated closer as he silently followed the exchange, suddenly spoke up in his soft, alien waver. "Flash was only trying to help," he said kindly, putting a green hand on Wally in a show of support. 

_"Thank_ you, J'onn." 

"In his own inept way." 

Flash scowled. "Forget the thanks." 

"I was not serious; that was a 'joke'," J'onn explained, smiling gently as he patted Flash on the shoulder. "I am working on my 'sense of humor' so that I will be a more 'happening guy.'" 

"That's . . . um . . . great," Superman said as the other Leaguers exchanged dubious glances. "But getting back to this business with Diana--" 

"The Flash was correct in thinking she needed to let her feelings out--" 

"HA! Hear that? I was RIGHT about something!" 

"--although obsessing over the inadequacies of her homeland in general and her mother in particular may prove equally unhealthy." 

"Shoot." Wally's face fell. "Well, I didn't know she had so many . . . _issues."_

"'Issues' does not BEGIN to cover it," Hawkgirl snorted. 

"We all want to help the princess, but this is ridiculous," John Stewart agreed. 

"What happened to Diana is . . . unfortunate," Batman said, and everyone tensed a little, having half-forgotten him as he stood gathering shadows. "But she needs to deal with her . . . situation. She is a weak point in the Justice League right now, a fracture point. She is distracted. She is causing _us_ distractions. And we cannot afford to be distracted, gentlemen--" 

"A-HEM!" 

"--and lady," he said, as if he'd meant to include that all along, and maybe he had. "We are the Justice League. We are all that stands between Earth . . . and that." He pointed, and no doubt it would've been more impressive in one of the outer ring rooms with windows peering out into the starry expanse of blackness. Still, everyone got the idea. "Infinite space; infinite threats. Not to mention villains of the earthbound variety." 

"Um . . . don't you think it's a little conceited to say that we're the _only_ thing standing between Earth and certain doom?" Superman smiled. 

Batman gave him a look. 

"No, of course you don't," Superman sighed. "Silly me." 

"If _you_ think we're . . . superfluous . . . maybe you shouldn't be here," Batman said. "More to the point, maybe Diana shouldn't be here." 

An uncomfortable silence spread over the heroes.

"Well, I don't know if I'd go _that_ far," John Stewart said at last. "After all, she _has_ been with us since day one . . ."

"She fought bravely against the Imperium," Hawkgirl admitted.

"She is a noble soul," J'onn murmured.

"She's all those things," Batman said. "She's also a liability right now."

"Maybe Br--BATMAN--" Superman corrected himself quickly as the Dark Knight swiveled to send a Bat-glare seering into his soul, "is right. Obviously we aren't going to kick her out of the League, but maybe an extended leave of absence, just until she can get herself sorted out . . ."

"A leave of absence to WHERE?" Wally demanded. "She's been _exiled_, for cryin' out loud! This is her home and _we're_ her friends and I cannot _believe_ you're suggesting that we just . . . _abandon_ her like that. You think she's screwed up now? How's she gonna feel when the Big Bad Bat skulks up and tells her she's not _good enough_ to be in the clubhouse."

"This isn't a _clubhouse_ and we're not here to play _games_, Flash--"

"You don't understand what I'm saying, it would be for her own sake--"

"You guys can spin-doctor all you want," the Flash said. "Me, I'm going to go to the root of the problem." And he shot through the door in a crimson blur.

Somewhere, angels trembled; Wally West had an idea.


End file.
